Intercepted

Location: Luminaire, Nubian Sundance  Headquarters

Data encryption: Enabled

Processing....

Interception complete. Audio feed only.

Undarum: "[encrypted data]... but we need to talk about the Nation. They're on the up and up these days."

Hellusius: "I don't think they're going to cause us too much concern."

Decus Daga: "We haven't the pilots to repulse serious infestations but we can probably get some help in."

Hellusius: "Prep a report. I want to know what we have and what we can do with it."

Undarum: "Recruitment is underway. We've a few new call signs on the scanner and it's looking good."

Decus Daga: "We'll soon have some real contenders, and if the Nation is going to be an issue we should be able to deal with at least some of it. I suspect the Empire authorities wont be too fond of mindless zombies invading their space."

Hellusius: "Hmmm...."

...

click - transmission lost


reacquiring...


Undarum: "I'll have a word with station security. It's not like them to let something like this slide."

Hellusius: "Don't bother. I know where the signal is going to. It's going to the Watchman."

Undarum: "You're serious...? What in the name of.... How do you know?"

Hellusius: "Only someone using our corporate secure line could get in here and re-acquire the signal, look."

Undarum: "... and Watchman is the only corporation ship docked."

transmission scrambled - disengaging

Crew Quarters

Tolle

Undarum: "Right, we're having to dock up at Impro corp's station, which means quartering arrangements will be other than usual. The Jovian wierdos that own this place are nowhere to be found and it's not exactly ordered. Long story short, you'll have to share. Ikai, Anuken, you're bunked as are you Sogeria and Idavolle. I know it's not ideal but there isn't much I can do. Watchman needs some love and I intend to make sure she gets it."

Anuken: "Yeah sure, I'm sure you're not loving the idea of us having to share."

Undarum: "Anuken, if I had planned it, I would have stuffed you in with Idavolle and watched you kill each other for sport."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tolle VI - Moon 6 - Impro Factory
Crew Quarters, Section 5A7J

[OK, so watching my crew in quarters is a little creepy. Or a lot creepy. This said, I am doing important work at the moment and I don't need these guys screwing it up. Again. Hence, the watching.]

 Anuken: "Fucking bunking. Can you believe it?"

Ikai: "It could be worse. We could have Sogeria in here."

Anuken: "Or the egghead himself."

Ikai: "Undarum? He's a softie."

Anuken: "Kid, he's a capsuleer. He's the most dangerous sort of man. One with nothing to fear."

Ikai: "He's not that bad you know. Sure as hell could've been worse. You've seen what it's like out in the capsuller alliance badlands."

Anuken: "At least with that lot you know what you're getting. Undarum is all together more dangerous because he has an agenda I haven't figured out yet."

Ikai: "Or you're being paranoid. I think he just likes to make money."

Anuken: "For a genetically engineered genius you sure can be stupid."

Ikai: "Thank you too Anuken. Feel free to twist the knife while it's in there."

[Uncomfortable silence ensues for a good 10 standard minutes.]

Anuken: "You know I'm good at putting my foot in it, Ikai."

Ikai: "Because naturally that gives you the right to insult me as best as you can."

[Another 5 minutes uncomfortable silence.]

Ikai: "So, what was it like out in the badlands? All those capsuleers flying about, no CONCORD, no government?"

Anuken: "Something I think any Amarrian would call Hell. It beggars belief."

Ikai: "It's really that bad?"

Anuken: "It's worse. There are some things that you can't leave behind."

Ikai: "So.... what exactly happened to you out there?"

Anuken: "I really don't want to talk about it. Contrary to that Intaki idiot's ideas, [Charming] talking about it doesn't help."

Ikai: "Anything you can tell me at all? I'm just curious, I don't want to dredge up anything that will bother you too much. Any old war stories?"

[At this point Anuken grins the grin of the space veteran that is absolutely universal. I think it's about the first time I've ever seen him smile. It lasts for literally microseconds.]

Anuken: "Didn't you hear enough of those in the Orphanage? War stories from the war days?"

Ikai: "I was never all that interested back then."

[Now Anuken goes a particular shade of beetroot red that is reserved for patriots who feel their national dignity is being threatened.]

Ikai: "What did I say?"

Anuken: "Nevermind. Let's just get some sleep."

[Proof, were it needed, that the Caldari are as capable of pissing each other off as they are everyone else.]

[OOC] Brief Announcement

I don't intend to make a habit of OOC posts, but the real world has kept me unable to post for a while. Just wanted to let my readers know that normal service will resume soon! Got something in the works that I expect to post in the next week.

Until then, fly safe!

Podded

This little aside happened very recently. I am telling this story as recollection, rather than record.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am sat alone at a bar. I am drowning myself in some drink the Brutor's seem to favour. I am test driving my new liver, and it seems to be holding up pretty well. I'm three drinks deep, and Ikai joins me. I should point out I'm bald, basically hairless and looking even more capsuleer-like than usual.

Ikai sits besides me at the bar. He orders some cheap drink or another, I'm not really paying attention, and he pipes up.

"So this is what it looks like then."

"A clone," I reply, "Yep, this is the glorious combination of cloning and the pod. I'm alive, apparently. At least that's what the burning sensation in my throat is telling me. This drink is fucking awful."

"So why all alone? Not like you to be without your corporation mates. Y'know, the ones you haven't introduced me to yet." Ikai looks at me playfully, something I'm blatantly not in the mood for.

"We're not in the habit of knowing our crews, let alone introducing them to one another. It gets very, complicated."

He's a bright guy, Ikai, he really is, and he sees through me straight away.

"What because you might get us killed?" He retorts hotly. "Don't you think we know that already?"

"Of course you do. But in the event of your death, you don't have to relive that moment each night." This really pisses him off, evidently. Not that I can say I blame him.

"Oh for fucks sakes Und, feeling sorry for yourself is not your style. We know the risks. Fuck knows I've held together more than one ship by the bare nuts and bolts of the hull. You definitely ain't the worst out there. You're alive, man. Hell you cheated death! Not many can say that."

I smile half-heartedly at my Deteis friend. "I still don't understand how you can deal with all the death. And smile, fuck's sake."

He grins at me. "If you don't spend your entire time feeling sorry for yourself, you realise it could be much worse. I could've stayed on New Caldari, or stayed with the Guristas, and I wouldn't have as much fun, nor be as comfortable as a I am now. Nor able to afford the good stuff." He orders a drink from the bar keep, something mid-price this time, as though it's some vast display of ostentation.

This time I laugh out loud. "How is it you always manage to make me laugh?"

"I'm just awesome like that," he replies with a wink, "Oh, you know you're paying right?"

N.S.S. Watchman, pt. 2

Bherdasopt

Ikai: "Where the fuck are the conkers?"

Undarum: "We're flagged as thieves. They ain't coming. Get the shields going. We can worry about our security standings with CONCORD later. Anu get the launchers ready to fire."

Ikai: "Incoming hybrid fire, they're letting us have it!"

Undarum: "Sogeria, lock down the frigates. This is personal, and I want to send a message these Serpentis goons won't forget. Get ready to fix the web on the nearest frigate. Ida, Anu, focus fire. I want maximum damage."

Anuken: "Torps are ready to go. These babies will hurt."

Idavolle: "Wasps are launched."

Computer: "Shields at 75%"

Ikai: "They're hurting us, but I don't think they're doing enough to break the shields... Undarum, I love this boat."

Undarum: "Don't get too attached, Ikai. We might still not get out of this. Keep your head in the game."

Idavolle: "Holy crap those frigs are dropping like flies."

Ikai: "Those Serp-mod Megas are hurting us bad though."

Undarum: "Frigs first. I want options in case this starts to go south."

Idavolle: "Drones are being directed to the scrammers."

Sogeria: "Webber is working like a charm."

Undarum (Local Broadcast): "Serpentis vessels, you are clearly outgunned. Cease fire and disengage immediately."

Serpentis Captain (Local Broadcast): "You have something very important to my superiors. We aren't leaving, and by the looks of your shields, neither are you..."

Undarum: "OK, now I'm pissed. Let them have it. I want every Serpentis ship out there burning."

Sogeria: "Locking on to their lead Battleship."

Undarum: "Hit the AB Ikai. Bet they've never seen a Rattlesnake move like this before."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idavolle: "Holy crap their lead ship just bit the dust."

Undarum: "Yes Ida I see the same readouts you do. Just keep firing. These bastards need to know not to fuck with me and my boat."

Anuken: "Finally taking something personally?"

Undarum: "Any time anybody messes with my assets, I take it personally."

Sogeria: "Naturally, this is about your profit margins."

Undarum: "Lets not forget who got us into this mess, and why we're here. Now let's make sure they don't deem to send an much larger fleet after us."

Sogeria: "Such  the humanitarian, of course."

Undarum: "Sogeria, just do your job. I don't need your moralising right now."

Ikai: "Shields are holding at 80% now. They are barely scratching us."

Undarum: "Ida, Anu, burn them all."

Anuken: "Not much left in torpedo range. I'll make sure anything that gets close regrets it."

Idavolle: "Hitting the next battleship. Their armor is peeling off fast."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Undarum: "That's the last of them down. Whatever the hell it is that idiot of a brother has, Ida, they want it back, and badly. Get him awake and to your station now."

Idavolle: "On my way. I'll kick his backside myself at this rate."

Undarum: "Be thankful I'm not handing him over to them. They could show up with reinforcements. Ikai, get us to Simela pronto."

Ikai: "Already done, we're about to warp."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idavolle: "You have to understand...."

Undarum: "I have to understand nothing. You're brother has endangered this crew and my assets. He put us all in harms way unnecessarily."

Andre: "I thought you podders didn't fear death."

Undarum: "This isn't about me, you moron. This is about my ship. You are lucky I didn't toss you out the nearest airlock, or for that matter blow your entire section into space. I still might."

Andre: "You can't do that to me! I'm a Federation...."

Undarum: "On this boat you are nobody. I took you on board as a favour. Still, if I don't flush you into space, then the Sarpati family will undoubtedly come looking for you. Perhaps I should just dump you at the nearest station and let you fend for yourself."

Andre: "But.... but...."

Undarum: "Not even an apology. You're pathetic, Andre. Don't ever darken my door again."

Andre: "But what about Serpentis?!"

Undarum: "You're an adult. Figure it out."

Andre: "They'll kill me!"

Undarum: "Give me one good reason I should care."

Idavolle: "Please, Undarum."

Undarum: "Ida, if he messes this up, I'm going to leave him for the Serpentis. Andre, you are lucky that you're brother is the best drone A.I. specialist I've had, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this. You get precisely one chance. Screw this up at your own peril, because I guarantee you that the Serpentis corp will not give up because one capsuleer took out a few boats in the back end of Amarrian space."

Andre: "I'm.... sorry, Ida."

Undarum: "What the hell you apologising to him for? Never mind, I don't care. I will make sure you're safe with the Sisters, but if you cock this up I will not continue to assist you in any way."

Idavolle: "Thank you, Undarum."

Undarum: "You owe me, Ida. Remember that next time you're whining about your working conditions."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simela

Computer: "Docking request accepted."

Undarum: "Don't get comfy people. Nobody leaves the ship. I'm going to have a meeting with the management to see if I can come to some arrangements about Andre's immediate future. We need to beat a hasty path back to Federation territory if this is going to work."

Sogeria: "I'm not impressed, you know. All this show of apparent humanitarianism..."

Undarum: "Don't flatter yourself, Sogeria. I am not doing this to impress anyone. This is strictly business."

Sogeria: "Oh, sure. Of course it is."

Undarum: "And you would do well to remember who is in command. If you want off, I'll arrange the paperwork."

Sogeria: "Heartless and rude. What a charming combination. No wonder you capsuleers are so popular."

Ikai: "Then why are you here, Sogeria? Just who are you? You never talk to us about, well, anything and you are always so... impertinent. What's the deal?"

Anuken: "All good questions."

Undarum: "Just follow your orders, people. We have a fresh delivery of stupid that I would much rather be rid of sooner rather than later."

N.S.S. Watchman, pt. 1

As a capsuleer, there is nothing more thrilling than getting to know a new ship. Alas my  crew doesn't always see it that way. Recently I... acquired through various means the N.S.S. Watchman, a Scorpion hull, Gurista-modified Rattlesnake class ship. The big brother to the N.S.S. Kitty Jay.

So to help keep the crew happy, I bought them all a little present. I could, of course, have hired a new crew. Most capsuleers hire separate crews for each ship. I can certainly see the sense in that. Nonetheless, I want to keep my crew together. Better the devil you know, as the Amarrians say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gicodel
Undarum: "Welcome to your new home. Well, workplace. The N.S.S. Watchman, half a kilometer of some seriously lethal technology. I strongly recommend you acquaint yourselves with the new systems now. Most have had an upgrade of one form or another."

Anuken: "Hmmph. Damned pirate technology."

Ikai: "Hey it works don't it?"

Undarum: "Sogeria, you have some new duties too. I need to use your propulsion jamming expertise. I'm going to take delivery of a new module and I want you up to date with the specifications."

Sogeria: "Well that makes up for the... poor electronics I've got down here. A little. Advanced webifier?"

Undarum: "Federation Navy issue. You should find the specifications in your personal data archive. Anuken, you should find that your new Seige launchers are now installed. I suggest you take a look."

Anuken: "State issue. Impressive. Something actually worth a damn on this rustbucket."

Undarum: "Ikai, I need you working over time. We've got a mixture of Guristas and State gear on the shields and I want you to make sure it all runs perfectly. You might need to get creative with some of the engineering."

Ikai: "Sounds like fun. I'll get on it."

Anuken: "Are you sure you've got the right gear in cargo here? Says you've got State issued torpedoes. Not like you to splash out on launchers."

Undarum: "That's right. Being a capsuleer has it's benefits. One of which is access to such impressive weapons technologies, at reasonable prices. Ida, not much is changing for you. I suggest you all familiarise yourselves with your new work areas quickly, because I have several jobs that need doing as soon as possible and I can't afford to be playing catch up."

Idavolle: "What, no new toys for me? I'm hurt."

Undarum: "Ida, you've always had the best equipment. Everyone else is just playing catch up. Besides, I have a surprise for you when we dock up."

Idavolle: "That can only be a bad thing, when a pod jockey has a "surprise" for me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Computer: "Docking request accepted."

Undarum: "Take some time folks. Your usual boarding arrangments have been seen to. I expect you all back at 1900 standard time. Ida, meet me on the gantries when we dock."

Anuken: "Taking your boyfriend out huh Ida?"

Idavolle: "If we were that close, I wouldn't be flying about in this shit heap, I tell you that much."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Undarum: "Ida, I know you have had some... family issues. And that you haven't always been happy with my decision making. So, as a gesture of good will I wanted to do something for you."

[Now at this point I should take some time to introduce Idavolle's brother, Andre. This guy is the epitome of what is wrong with Gallentean kids. Faux Minmatar tattoos, gaudy fashion, the works. This kid wouldn't know class if it came up and kicked him in the arse. The strong Gallente accent doesn't help his case.]

Andre: "Ah Idavolle, it's been too long!"

Idavolle: "Fucking hell."

Andre: "Now, that's no way to treat your dearest brother. Why not come have a drink?"

Idavolle: "What's the quickest way to get rid of you? And Undarum, remind me to thank you personally later."

Undarum: "I will be on board, as always. Don't get too wasted, I need you capable tomorrow."

Idavolle: "Oh don't worry. I wont be out with this clown long."

Andre: "Come now, your Captain has been gracious enough to pay for my trip here. I just want to have fun!"

Idavolle: "That's always been your problem, Andre."

[OK, at this point I leave, but given their relationship I pay some... associates to keep an eye on what they're doing. I'm well known to the station staff so it's not hard to get regular updates on what they're up to. Or live camera and audio feeds, for that matter.]

Camera A19-D46
Push - Gallente themed bar, bar area

Idavolle: "So what did you do now, Andre? You didn't come all this way just to share a drink."

Andre: "Why so cynical? Actually I did a deal so that my debts are all clear."

Idavolle nearly chokes on his drink.

Idavolle: "Oh fucking hell, what sort of deal?"

Andre: "I just have to work off the debt moving some stuff around. You know how it is."

Idavolle: "Who the fuck is offering this work? And why are they paying you astronomical sums of money?"

Andre leans in to his brother, his face awash with excitement. He whispers.

Andre: "Serpentis corp. They want me to move some product for them."

Idavolle: "You utter moron. You do realise that what they want you to move?!"

Andre: "Of course."

Idavolle: "Then why the fuck did you offer to do it. Where are you supposed to be taking this stuff?"

Andre: "Where do you think?"

Idavolle looks at his brother, bewildered and scarlet with rage.

Idavolle: "You brought Serpentis shit onto a fucking SoE station you fucking numpty! Don't you realise...."

Andre: "Keep your voice down!! You're going to get us both caught."

Idavolle: "Caught?! You're working for the Sarpati family and you're worried about getting caught?! Just how stupid are you. We're leaving, now. Get your coat. We need to get you off this station."

[They promptly leave the bar. I track them to a quiet section of the corridor and get exactly what I was expecting.Idavolle gets in touch.]

Idavolle: "Captain, I need your help."

Undarum: "I know. Get Andre on board now. I have got the rest of the crew en route to the ship. You're lucky Ikai hadn't found the bar yet because otherwise we'd all be screwed."

Idavolle: "How did you.... never mind I don't care. I just need to get him some place safe."

Undarum: "I know somewhere the Serpentis don't show their face too much. I have an in with the Sisters, I can get him refuge, I'll make the arrangements."

Idavolle: "Thanks, I guess I owe you one."

Undarum: "By my count you owe me two, but I'm not keeping count for now. Just get back here in one piece. And make sure he doesn't bring the contraband on board. Otherwise I'm going to get a serious fine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Computer: "Undocking sequence initiated. Request processing."

Undarum: "Lady and gents, we're making for Simela. Ikai, plot a course with the auto-pilot. Cut through low-sec if you have to. Fire up the I-fields and make sure you're prepared. This could be a rough ride. Idavolle, make sure Andre is sedated. I don't need someone with jump sickness running about causing issues."

Idavolle: "Done, he's out."

Undarum: "Right, course plotted. No quicker way than through high sec, so chances are we'll be good. Stand ready people, I don't want any unpleasant surprises."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bherdasopt

Undarum: "Almost there people, one more jump."

Sogeria: "I'm picking up multiple jump drive deactivating right on top of us!"

Undarum: "How the fuck.... Ida I though I told you to make sure he go rid of anything he was carrying! Ikai, get us aligned, now!"

Idavolle: "I did, I swear!"

Undarum: "Well these guys didn't track us without help."

Ikai: "Serpentis frigate locking us down.... and we're scrammed. No way we're warping out of this one."

Local Broadcast: "Notice Serpentis vessels, cease and decist all hostile actions at once."

Undarum: "Buckle up people, this is going to be close. They brought out several battleships and plenty of support. Ida, when we're done kicking their arses I need a word with your brother. Whatever it is he's carrying, these guys are serious about getting it back."


[Continues soon]

A Close Encounter of the Bad kind

For those who don't know me already, I make most of my ISK from hunting pirates in high security space. Now it isn't the riskiest business but it's not with out its close calls. Here is a transcript with my personal notes from a recent encounter with a large Guristas attack force.

I got the location from a Caldari Navy contact. They were paying quite well for me to clean up this little problem.

(For non-capsuleers, or those that don't talk directly with their crew, I have my ship set up to pipe my voice and static image to my crew's stations while I observe them on internal camera drones.)

Undarum: "Anuken, get those launchers primed. Load them Defenders for now, get ready to switch to Scourges."

Anuken: "Aye."

Undarum: "Sogeria, be prepared for jammers. Do your best with what we've got."

[Sogeria never responds much to this sort of instruction. She busied herself with the computer and my feedback was telling me she was doing her job quietly. She does look straight at the camera drone at one point, as if to tell me she knows I'm watching.]

Undarum: "Ikai, get those shields ready. Expect heavy incoming hybrid and missile fire. Concussive force and heat damage will be high so get ready. Make sure propulsion is specced and ready to go."

Ikai: "Sure Und. Working on it. All our mods are online and resistances are looking good. AB is online and ready to fire. Cap stability looks good too."

[Ikai knows he doesn't have to tell me all this. He knows I know. He just wanted something to do to take his mind off the fact he could be blowing up his old buddies.]

Undarum: "Idavolle, lets show them what advanced Caldari Wasps can do. I want them ready to launch with auto-targetting algorithms ready in case Sogeria can't keep the targetting scanners online."

Idavolle: "You really said that just to piss me off, huh? The Wasps are good to go. Not quite as good as the Ogres..."

Undarum: "But as we both know Guristas shields are more vulnerable to concussive force than heat damage. Use the Wasps or you'll be out there flying with them."

Idavolle: "Might be preferable to in here..."

Undarum: "Prep the drones, be offended later."

Idavolle: "Yeah yeah. Drones are good to go."

Computer: "Activating deadspace gate. All hands stand ready."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Undarum: "Sogeria, we got jammers. Ikai, inbound webs, get the shields repping pronto. Anuken, for fucks sake get those Defenders out there. We got incoming torps from those BBs and I would rather they didn't make it."

Sogeria: "Jammers in range. Can't get a single lock. Working on it."

Ikai: "Webbing frigs have us. Shit.... we're scrammed."

Undarum: "Fuck. Ida if those frigs aren't gone soon we're toast."

Idavolle: "Drones are following their auto-targetting protocols. They have primaried the HAC and without a target I can't over-ride."

Undarum: "Fucking Caldari drones. Remind me to update that software myself. Sogeria, how are we coming with targetting?"

Sogeria: "With those jammers still out there we're screwed."

Undarum: "Fuck with a scrammer out there we're boned. Ikai I want everything you can get me from the shields. I'm releasing the TeL (Thermodynamic lock) on those mods. Burn them out if you have to. Get everything you can out of the AB. We need to get warp aligned yesterday."

Ikai: "Shield at 50% and dropping. Fuck me, we need to get out of here."

Idavolle: "Thank you Captain Obvious. Wasps have primaried tacklers. Do you want me to pull them?"

Undarum: "Until that scrammer is down, there's no point. We'll leave them if necessary."

Idavolle: "I could buy my own ship for the cost of those drones. Damn pod jockey."

Sogeria: "I would rather be poor and alive, myself. Targetting is back but sporadic. Use it or lose it."

Undarum: "Ida get ready to over-ride the drone A.I. and primary that scrammer. Sogeria, keep those jammers busy. I need to get a lock on that scram frig.

"Ikai, prep for system warp to planet 4, it's closest. The minute that scrammer is gone I want warp."

Computer: "ALERT: Shields at 10%"

Undarum: "People get it done. I don't want to have to fill out the paperwork to send to your governments. I'm sure you'd all rather live, too."

Ikai: "Shields are basically gone. Even overloading to breaking point they're blasting chunks out of our armour."

Idavolle: "Drones are nearly through that scrammer. His shields are down."

Ikai: "It's not enough, we're nearly out of armour."

Sogeria: "Warp bubble collapse 15 clicks out. He's green, apparently. Sleipnir mod advanced Minmatar Command Ship..."

Undarum: "A.K.A. The Cavalry."

Ikai: "Scram is down, warp bubble forming..."

Computer: "Hull breach, section 5. Damage control shielding in place."

Ikai: "We're at warp speed, planet 4 approaching fast."

Anuken: "What the fuck was that? Are you trying to get us killed?!"

[This is why most pod jockeys don't talk to their crews. Sometimes I don't blame them.]

Undarum: "Anuken you know as well as I do I could kill you far more easily without damaging my personal investments. Like cutting off your oxygen. Don't think for a second I planned to lose more than you'll ever earn in the form of a pirate-mod Cruiser."

Anuken: "What the fuck do you care? You make a fortune. You abandoned those Wasps like they were nothing. I could retire with that sort of money! Do you have any idea how much they are worth?"

Undarum: "Several hundred thousand ISK, Anuken. The same ISK I use to pay you lot, feed you and pay your bar tabs. Don't make me remind you about your personal... employability issues."

[At this point Anuken throws something large and heavy at the camera drone.]

Anuken: "Don't you fucking dare! You almost got us all killed!"

Ikai: "Anu, don't say something you'll regret. You're alive, be happy!"


Idavolle: "I hate to agree with Anuken, but he's right. That was a death trap. They screwed us."

Ikai: "Guys, much as I am happy you're finally getting along, but arguing with the Captain isn't good for you! He knows what he's..."

Undarum: "It's alright, Ikai. If they don't like the risks, they can leave. Of course that means they will lose their pay packet, and I will stop paying their debts.

"Remind me, Ida, how much does your brother owe?"

Idavolle: "You son of a bitch! How dare you check where I send my money!"

Undarum: "Please, Ida, let's remain civil."

Idavolle: "Fuck your civility. I don't need your money!"

Undarum: "Yes, you do. Your brother's debts are measured in ISK. That's a hell of a lot of money planet side. You know you can't get that sort of money from the Navy. I pay you well, but think about the other capsuleers out there. Reckon they'd pay as well for your expertise? Think you are any less likely to die with them?"

Idavolle: "You cold hearted bastard. I'm going to make you pay for that one day."

Undarum: "Try me, Ida. Just try me. Now, Anuken. Anything to add? Fancy your chances joining up with KK?"

Anuken: "You know I can't. Doesn't mean I can't work for some other pod jockey."

Undarum: "You can leave if you want, Anuken. I have never forced you to stay. Just think about the lengths I have gone to keep you alive compared with your former paymasters. Or should I remind you what happened when you were out in Alliance territory? The Raven?"

Anuken: "Shut your filthy Intaki mouth you Federation loving son-of-a-..."

Ikai: "Anu shut it!"

Idavolle: "Watch your tongue you Caldari cu..."

Undarum: "Quiet all of you. You're alive and well paid. Drinks are on me whilst I get our boat repaired. Ida, Anu, if you want to terminate your contracts, I'll be on the pod gantries making sure it isn't your section that gets sucked into space next time we undock."

Sogeria: "What about me? Why should I risk my life for you again, Undarum? Whoever you really are"

Undarum: "Sogeria, if I knew that...."

Sogeria: "Don't even try it. Do it again and I'll kill you with my bare hands."

Undarum: "On account of nearly killing you, I'm going to let that one go. But don't think..."

Sogeria: "Spare me your threats. I'll be at the nearest Gallentean restaurant if anyone wants me."

Ikai: "If everyone has got their mutiny out for the day, I need a stiff drink."

Meet The Crew - N.S.S. Kitty Jay

My name is Undarum. Well, it as may as well be. That's my CONCORD call-sign through which I conduct all my capsuleer transactions. That isn't my given name, but I'm not insane enough to believe that those who might desire to harm my interests would hesitate in attacking my family back home.

So this log will keep little record of my pre-capsuleer life. I have no interest in endangering my family, and the people I deal with can be.... ruthless.


Still that doesn't mean I can't catalogue the actions of my crew. The stories of ships' crew are rarely published on GalNet or elsewhere. The few that are seldom have a happy ending, and frankly given the nature of space travel, that is hardly surprising. I might be "immortal," but my crews are not. I am constantly conscious of this fact, despite the fact that the death of space crews is a daily occurance.

N.S.S. Kitty Jay, Moa hull, Gila modified Cruiser

Drone A.I. Specialist - Idavolle Esseron


Idavolle is a straight laced Gallentean (yes, that does happen!) I have most lost this class of crewmen given that I have spent many months training my drone specialisation, and therefore I tend to be least close to them.

Nonetheless we remain cordial, if somewhat frosty. We rarely agree on much, especially given his personal distaste for the Caldari. Still, he accepts that the Caldari pay as well as anyone else and that blowing them up is bad for business. Doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes when I get a fine for contraband smuggling in Federation space. All this said, he's good at his job. He knows drones inside out and helps keep them dishing out the damage. He may be Gallentean but he understands all drones equally well.


Launcher Ops - Anuken Ogimo

This guy is a real hard nosed ass. Damn good at his job, but an ass. He worked for Lai Dai watch for years, and was blacklisted from Caldari corps for, (I paid good money to find this out,) beating the living daylights out his Captain for flying whilst off his face. Unfortunately for him, this was before Heth's little revolution, and this particular Captain was very well connected. Although Lai Dai was largely free from corruption, it was not unblemished, and when he was blacklisted the watch dutifully fired him.

This blemish against his name has never been rectified. Heth's revoultion never helped him, and he is understandably bitter. He's worked with some of the roughest capsuleers in the past who have never even bothered to learn his name.

He's hard nosed and pretty much thinks I'm the devil incarnate. If he believed in the concept. He hates that I pay his bills, feed and clothe him. This said I can't replace him. He's damn good at maintaining those ruddy launchers.

I have the specs hardwired into my brain. But that doesn't mean I can always oil them, load them, and work out all the kinks easily. He does all that for me and is ruddy good at it. I don't necessarily like the man, but he is too good at this job, and follows orders unquestioningly. He keeps me on my toes, and I respect that.

Electronics Specialist - Sogeria Adoutte

Ah, the enigmatic Sogeria. She is quite the mystery. Were it not for the absence of the tell tale socket, I would swear she's a capsuleer. Incredibly intelligent, I can find virtually no record of her. She's clearly of Intaki descent, although she will not confirm nor deny this. The only employment records I could find said she worked for the Syndicate, which certainly supports the theory. Besides that, she basically doesn't exist.

Her account is only ever used to deposit money by me and it is swiftly moved into a Syndicate account. I have no idea if she knows I know this. She rarely admits or acknowledges anything and is eternally cold and distant. All I know is she works pretty much any Electronics system, including my incredibly important targetting scanners, with the precision of a capsuleer.

Mechanic/Engineering Specialist - Ikai Tarrko

A sorrier story I have yet to hear. Ikai is a Caldari Deteis so-called "Tube Child." He lived in an horrific Caldari ophanage, until he was 12. Rather sensibly, he ran away. Perhaps insensibly, he ran straight into the arms of the Guristas pirate organisation. Now I have no great love of the Guristas, but I do fly Gurista modified ships. They treated him relatively well, he even tried for capsuleer status. He failed, sadly, but he still elevated his understanding and running of space ships, especially capsule fitted vessels.

He left the organisation later in life, on relatively good terms. He is still defensive of the Guristas and doesn't like it when we open fire on their vessels. He did a stint in the Khanid Navy as a launcher expert, even though he had never really dealt with launcher ops. He learned quick, though, but became incredibly enamoured of ships defensive systems. When it comes to defence, this guy is a true genius. Shields, armour, damage control, hull plating, all of it. I found him Dodixie, where he had fled after he was discharged from the Khanid Royal Navy for forging his employment history.

He was just desperate enough to be employed by just about any capsuleer who would take him. He tried the same phoney documents on me, a ballsy move. He knew I was a capsuleer and, given our reputation, could probably buy and sell him several times over. I quickly debunked his phoney documentation and got the real story out of him after some light threats.

Given I was flying a Guristas ship, I hired him on the spot. I needed some body with hutzpah, and a working knowledge of defensive systems. As it turned out he's deeply introspective, and we became friends. This was quite unintended. Becoming friends with my crew is usually against my personal work ethic. As a rule it is quite unprofitable, and I need to stay profitable if I'm ever going to change anything. I'm an idealist, but that doesn't mean I'm not a capitalist. It is a necessity.

Nonetheless, we became friends. I am constantly aware that, were I to lose my ship, I'd lose my one non-capsuleer friend. He is not immortal. I would very much prefer to keep him alive.

These are the people I depend on every day to help keep my boat sailing. They are under my care, be they friends or cautious allies, we are utterly reliant upon one another for our lives.